she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can text with my tongue
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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