Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
