I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
