Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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