Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
