hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
