im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
