my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
