So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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