we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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