There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
