Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
