i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
