They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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