____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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