capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
