I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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