Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
