This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
