PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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