dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
