Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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