I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
