were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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