Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
