Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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