I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We are two peas in an std pod
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Found your dick twin last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
