Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
