what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
