he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
