Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
