brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
