Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
