this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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