Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
