Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
