I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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