Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
