I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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