I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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