I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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