I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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