Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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