I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
