I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
