im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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