I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dicks are not precious.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
