i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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