I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I need to calm my uterus...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
