so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
