): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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