I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
